Thoughts on Friendship 

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Many of my high school years were spent wishing I had male friends I admired. I had a friend I had good chemistry with and who I had a good time with, but never anyone I saw as inspiringly high quality. I liked my friends, but it always felt like something was missing.

I want to be friends with people who establish deeply held philosophies and stick to them. I want people who think every day about what they do and why they do it. I want people who act according to their thinking. 

I want to be friends with people I respect—people who do things that make me notice the quality of their character. I want to be friends with people who respect me and who see the quality of my character.

I want people who expect nothing of anyone but themselves, and who are therefore considerate and respectful to everyone. 

I want people who are rationally selfish, and who as a result treat me as well as they treat themselves. I want people who do only what brings them pleasure and who avoid what brings them suffering. I want people who selfishly use our friendship for their own happiness.

I don’t want to be friends with people who live unconsciously. I don’t want people who are terrified of analyzing their own thoughts and actions. I don’t want people who, when I look at them after a year, are exactly the same as they were one year earlier. 

I don’t want cowards. 

I don’t want to be friends with people who treat other people with disdain or disrespect. I don’t want people whose primary goal is to make other people feel respected. 

I don’t want people who make me roll my eyes at their actions. I don’t want to be friends with people I see as mediocre. I don’t want people who do things that conflict with my values. I don’t want people who do things that conflict with their values. 

I don’t want friends who behave like beasts. I don’t want people who refuse to tame their destructive whims. 

I want friends who can confidently assert their right to exist. Friendship is a mutual transaction where both parties benefit equally, and if I’m engaging in a transaction that ultimately harms me, I want nothing to do with it. 

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